Getting over someone you still love
Nobody tells you that you can be completely certain it's over and completely in love at the same time. Both things are allowed to be true today.
What this page comes down to
- Separate love from plan
- Stop auditioning
- Let it be a chapter, not a verdict
Talk to a human
Write Kris today.
Reading only gets you so far. Tell Kris where you are and she'll write back herself.
Feelings don't take instruction from facts; they take instruction from time and distance. Waiting to stop loving him before you move on puts your life on a schedule someone else controls. The order is the other way round: you act first and the feeling follows, months later, quietly.
Separate love from plan
Write two columns: what you feel, and what is actually on offer. Keep the first, act on the second.
Stop auditioning
Being lovelier, thinner, calmer or more available has never once converted an unwilling person. Take the audition off your to-do list and get about a week of your energy back.
Let it be a chapter, not a verdict
Tell the story once a week to someone safe, and let the retelling shrink. The version that takes two hours today will take ten minutes by winter.
The thought that keeps looping
“If I still love him, it must mean he's the one and I should wait.”
Love is evidence of what you're capable of, not proof of who you belong with. The one is a person who is also choosing you — that's the whole definition.
Love is evidence of what you're capable of, not proof of who you belong with. The one is a person who is also choosing you — that's the whole definition.
The stages, in order
Separate love from plan
Write two columns: what you feel, and what is actually on offer. Keep the first, act on the second.
Stop auditioning
Being lovelier, thinner, calmer or more available has never once converted an unwilling person. Take the audition off your to-do list and get about a week of your energy back.
Let it be a chapter, not a verdict
Tell the story once a week to someone safe, and let the retelling shrink. The version that takes two hours today will take ten minutes by winter.
Questions women ask
Can you move on while still loving someone?
Yes, and it's the most common way it happens. Moving on is behaviour first; feeling catches up afterwards.
Does no contact help if I still love him?
Especially then. Distance is what allows the feeling to become a memory rather than a live wire.
Should I wait for him to change?
Waiting is a decision with a cost. Set an honest limit and spend the time on your own life instead of on the watch.
Talk to a human
Write Kris today.
Tell her where you are right now — one honest paragraph is enough. She reads every message herself.
