Scenario
No contact when you work together
When he's across the office, full silence isn't available. What is available is contact with no supply: polite, brief, and about work only.
Talk to a human
Write Kris today.
If you'd rather talk to a person than read a page — tell Kris what's happening and she'll write back herself.
What's happening right now
The reason no contact works is that it removes reinforcement. At work you can't remove the person, so you remove the emotional payload instead — no in-jokes, no eye contact held a beat too long, no debriefing your weekend.
Three things to do today
Set a professional script
Three sentences you can say in any meeting without thinking. Pre-writing them means you're never improvising while your heart rate is 110.
Move the private channels
Work chat stays, everything else goes. If it wouldn't be sent with a manager reading it, it isn't a work message.
Own your recovery time
Ten minutes after any encounter: walk, water, one text to a friend. Recovery is scheduled, not hoped for.
Tonight's journal prompt
“What do I want him to see when he looks at me at work — and who is that actually for?”Get the 90-day journal
The thought that keeps looping
“If I'm cold at work, everyone will know and it'll be humiliating.”
Neutral isn't cold. Nobody in that room is tracking your tone the way you are, and brief professionalism reads as competence, not heartbreak.
Questions women ask
Should I tell HR or my manager?
Only if the situation affects your work or safety. If it does, say it early and factually.
What if he acts like nothing happened?
Let him. Matching his performance costs you far less than correcting it in a place you have to return to daily.
Do I have to go to the work drinks?
Not for the first month. Skip two, go to the third, and leave early on purpose.
Talk to a human
Write Kris today.
Tell her where you are right now — one honest paragraph is enough. She reads every message herself.
